tw eating disorder
I really want to lose weight and eat better and feel better about myself but every time I try to even monitor what I eat, I get immediately sucked into disordered thinking and spiral into calorie counting, fixating the amount of water I drink, and purging.
I can’t work out until my hip operations happen (january 2015, june 2015). I’m not just saying that, and I really shouldn’t have to explain to my own blog why physical activity is out but if you’re interested in the complexities of Legg-Calve-Perthes disease, you can read about it here.
And the worst part is that disordered eating and living is still so (inexplicably?) appealing to me. I should have gotten more intense therapy for it than 9 days in a partial hospital program, but there you have it.
I’m a mess.